Goddess of Mess

Thank God you don't meet me anymore.
Or where would I hide my face?
When the world pushed me away,
weren't you my only hiding place?

I fall in puddles of lust every other day
I stumble on carcasses of my goodness in every room and hallway
Now I am Goddess of Mess
Fallen from my grace

My eyes don't shine of pride now
These days, my reflection looks away in disgust
Failures are building nests in my hair
and innocence lies in a corner full of dust

Layers of makeup and lips stained wine red
Wouldn't you call me fake?
Maybe you'd hug me out of pity, wouldn't you?
For old times' sake..

I wouldn't tell you what a coward I have been,
Falling for mirage, even as it vanished
Begging, banging my fists on the gates
of a town that has got me banished...

Shove your disappointment in my face if we meet 
'You were never like this! I never thought you'd change like seasons!'
Make me sob and watch me coldly
For once, let me grieve for justified reasons