Apocalypse

August 2012.

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"Look what I got!" she nudged him and showed him a message she had just received, that joked something about the possibly sudden population increase nine months after 21st December 2012.

He laughed. "Hilarious!!! Do you think the world would end on 21st December?"

She smiled and averted her eyes from him.

"I don't think so. They all make it sound like that." she shrugged and continued in a low voice, "I kinda want it to end."

"What!" he asked her incredulously, exactly the reaction she had expected, "Are you mad! How cynical could you be! Honestly, I don't want the world to end. I want to live with you for quite a long time. For a lifetime!"

She wished for the same. To spend her entire lifetime with him. She could foresee the hurdles though. She was scared. She knew that the plans of the destiny are way too twisted to be understood by mere mortals like them... There were so many what-ifs that clouded her prefect sense of happiness several times. She wasn't confused about their decision, her choice. The fear of what future would unfold plagued her mind. A possible future without him. A possible future being alone... The same stupid fear that made her heart beat unevenly every time they hung up the phone after night-long calls or every time she waved him bye from her window whenever he accompanied her on her way home...

She did not say anything. She kept her gaze fixed on her own fingers entwined in his.

"Say something!" he said pressing her palm gently.

"Maybe I am a pessimist. You say you want to live with me. I say I don't want to live without you." she managed to say finally, "I don't know what future holds. The end of the world would probably be the end of my doubts... I would love to freeze in this moment. Right here with you... I don't want to see the future. I am totally happy in present." She said all that in a rush and coiled tightly around his arm as though to stop him from running away.

He roared with laughter. She gave him an unsmiling, reproachful look.

"You are mad. It doesn't make me feel good you thinking like this. Don't you trust me?" he asked fixing his eyes on hers.

She loved his conviction, the sense of security his self-confidence radiated. She had always loved that about him.

"I do." she said nodding serenely, "I just don't trust the fate." she whispered the later in a barely audible voice.

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July 2014

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The world has ended- but only her world. It all came crashing down at once. Now only the traces remain. She finds some wounded piece every now and then. In the form of some unwitting, unguarded moments when she calls someone with that one name just out of a diehard habit... Or when there are awkward offhand mentions of the painfully familiar places, people and incidents... Or when she instinctively grabs her phone to tell that very person something interesting that she comes across... Or when something in her heart moves uncomfortably with the waft of a familiar fragrance that she is sure she only imagines... Or sometimes when she simply breathes the air that almost always feels insufficient nowadays.